journal 4

1
The cows stand
under the trees in the wet grass,
lifting their necks to pull the leaves
down. We slow the truck, pull over
to the side of the road to watch them.
How graceful they look, how unlike
themselves. We get out and lean
on the fence.The cows don’t seem to notice
we are there.

This version of the poem I read as a stream of consciousness. For me, the enjambed lines added a feeling of moving through the poem, with the stops being a sort of relief at the end of each sentence.

 

2
The cows stand under the trees in the wet grass,
lifting their necks to pull the leaves down.

We slow the truck, pull over to the side of the road
to watch them. How graceful they look, how unlike

themselves. We get out and lean on the fence.
The cows don’t seem to notice we are there.

In this version of the poem there are internal rhymes in each stanza: trees/leaves, truck/look, lean/seem. The middle rhymes stood out to me, and I felt like it was more lyrical.

 

3
The cows stand under the trees
in the wet grass,
lifting their necks to pull the leaves down.
We slow the truck,
pull over to the side of the road to watch them.
How graceful they look,
how unlike themselves. We get out and lean on the fence.
The cows don’t seem to notice we are there.

In this version, I played around with the length of the lines. I found that when I varied the lengths according to their natural stops, it changed the voice of the poem to what I interpreted as more of a wistful tone.